Ye Gods

Thank the gods for Hunter. He has revived my soul as only a teenage girl trapped in a dead dope fiend's body can. Now, on to the Serious and Terrifying implications. Whenever it was, say January of this nasty and complicated year, I denounced atheism and readmitted myself to the world as a Christian. Now, obviously, I am hardly different as a result (but am I in a position to make this claim? You all who know me ought not let me get away with this.). In recent and say... disturbing times of crises and Confusion, I had serious doubts as to my ability to function in the world (and, of course, when I say my, I mean the me at heart and soul) as a working stiff, a successful HTM major who will be working 50+ hours a week for years until I gain enough respect to be True to myself and my dreams. Then along came a friend, a talk, an old friend, a new talk and a ressurrection of a past love so passionate I tremble when the implications manifest themselves in my mind... like Screwjack. Good god, did I just write that? Yes, good thing no one is any the wiser. Which leaves me here, Hunter fresh in my mind and Success, that powerful ox we seem to Love and Fear while we fuck and steer down the brutish path to death, dangling itself before me as a fat, ripe grape on a twisted, sticky vine. Now this is getting Fun. Goddamn I miss this keyboard, it's just not the same without my creative impulses controlling my fingers. Anyway, I arrive here, tonight, in the shower, wondering what it is the fuck I am to do. I am a Christian now and forever more, yet I fear that I may grow to hate and Curse god... but since when have I ever let such a thing as Fear govern my sanity? But more on that later, which is a promise I imagine will go unfulfilled.
We shall see. It's good to be back. Ciao.